真正的成熟，是学会慢慢长大
在咨询行业里，我常常感叹，年轻一代的智力水平真是越来越高。每次去校园招聘，总能遇到一批比一批聪明的学生。等他们真正进入公司后，每次我阅读他们写的客户报告，总是会被他们语言的精炼和思想的深刻所折服，而这是我在他们那个年纪完全无法想象的。我二十出头时，虽然工作也很努力，但既做不了复杂的商业模式，又没有他们的战略眼光，在职业方向上更是常常迷惘。
如今的我并不会因这些年轻咨询师的才华而生出嫉妒，反而更多的是欣赏与怜惜。在这个竞争日益激烈的职场环境中，“早慧”往往是一种无形的负担。其实所谓的早慧，并不是说你真正比别人懂得更多，而只是比同龄人“提前”抵达了一些认知。随着年龄增长、经验累积，那点“提前”的优势终究会慢慢消散。而且，年轻时的”早慧”往往只是书本和逻辑上的理解，还未真正融入生活。所以，当一位年轻的咨询师曾自豪地对我说，她现在已经替CEO撰写所有高管会议的报告，因此完全有能力自己也成为公司高管时，我总是忍不住暗暗失笑。要知道，为CEO写报告是一回事，真正成为CEO则是另一回事。
我记得小时候，经常会有长辈夸奖我“很成熟”。这并不是因为我博学多识，而只是因为我能在同龄人中做出相对稳妥的选择，成绩也还算不错罢了。当然，我远比不上那些十三岁就上大学的“神童”，但这样的夸奖依然让我觉得自己与众不同，于是我开始渴望更多这样的肯定。甚至一度幻想：怎样才能成为“全世界最成熟的人”？只是后来才明白，这样的念头无形中反而给自己平添了许多压力。
回过头看，当时我真正缺少的，是人生经验。心理学上称之为“流体智力”和“晶体智力”的差别：前者天赋敏锐，后者则是由时间与经验沉淀而成。流体智力因其稀缺而格外引人注目，但它无法真正替代人生的磨练。年轻时的我总觉得自己懂得不少道理，却常常在现实中无法落实。我在理智上明白，却没有在生活里真正消化。我真正需要的，其实只是时间。
也因此，如今当我遇见那些“超龄智慧”的年轻人时，总会替他们隐隐担心。他们或许要承担超出年龄的责任，被寄予过度的期待，被过分强调年轻与效率。我们的社会热衷于歌颂三十岁之前的“成功”，却很少有人关心这种提前抵达所要付出的精神代价。走得更快，并不意味着轻松，反而意味着更长的路要走。
毕竟，生命中最重要的课程，既无法催促，也从不会只学一次。真正的成熟，不在于比别人更早抵达，而在于是否愿意一直走下去。
Why Wisdom Can’t Be Rushed
In the consulting industry, I am often amazed at how the intelligence level of the younger generation seems to keep rising. Every time we go to campus recruitment, we meet groups of students who are smarter than the last. Once they actually join the firm, whenever I read the client reports they produce, I’m struck by the depth of their thinking and the mature/professional tone they have - things I could never have imagined achieving at their age. When I was in my early twenties, although I worked hard, I couldn’t build complex business models, nor would I say that I had their strategic vision. And professionally, I was often lost.
These days, as I become more experienced, I find myself feeling no jealousy toward the talent of these young consultants. Rather, I feel admiration and even a kind of tenderness. In today’s increasingly competitive workplace, being “precocious” often becomes an invisible burden. After all, precociousness doesn’t mean you truly know more than others; It simply means you’ve come to certain understandings earlier than your peers. Yet as you grow older and accumulate experience, that little bit of “head start” usually fades away. Moreover, youthful precociousness often consists mainly of theoretical knowledge and reasoning skills, not yet grounded in real-life experience. So when a young consultant once proudly told me that, since she was already drafting all the executive meeting reports for the CEO, she was therefore fully capable of becoming an executive herself, I couldn’t help but smile quietly. Writing reports for a CEO is one thing; becoming a CEO is quite another.
I remember when I was young, older people often praised me for being “so mature.” It was simply because I made relatively steady choices among my peers, and my grades were decent. Of course, I was nothing like those geniuses who went to college at the age of thirteen, but the praise still made me feel special, and I began to crave more of it. At one point, I even fantasized about becoming “the most mature person in the world.” Only later did I realize that such thoughts only brought unnecessary pressure.
Looking back now, what I truly lacked then was life experience. Psychologists distinguish between “fluid intelligence” and “crystallized intelligence”: the former is innate and quick, while the latter is formed slowly over time through experience. Fluid intelligence tends to attract attention because of its rarity, but it cannot replace the hard lessons of life. In my youth, I often felt I understood many principles, yet I could rarely apply them in practice. I grasped them intellectually, but they hadn’t sunk into my lived experience. What I really needed was simply time.
That’s why today, whenever I encounter young people who seem wise beyond their years, I can’t help but worry for them. They may end up shouldering responsibilities beyond their age, burdened with unrealistic expectations, their youth and efficiency too heavily emphasized. Our society loves to glorify “success” before the age of thirty, but few consider the emotional toll of arriving early. Getting there faster doesn’t mean it’s easier, it just means you have a longer road ahead.
After all, life’s most important lessons can neither be rushed nor learned only once. True maturity is not about reaching a milestone earlier than others, but about having the willingness to keep moving forward.