In a World That Rushes, Staying Calm Is a Superpower

If my mother has dinner plans in the evening, she usually starts getting ready around noon. She showers, changes clothes, blow-dries her hair, and slowly does her makeup — everything arranged well ahead of time. She is never in a rush, and almost never has those moments of “I’m running late.”

I am the complete opposite.

If I need to leave at 7:00, there’s a good chance that at 6:41, I’m still sitting on the couch scrolling through my phone. Then, suddenly, panic hits me all at once: I’m late. I rush into the bathroom, the hair dryer starts roaring, the closet gets torn apart, and somehow my phone always disappears at the exact moment I need it most. In the end, I’m jogging to catch the bus, completely out of breath.

Usually I’m only three or five minutes late. To other people, I probably just seem like someone with slightly poor time management. But over time, I’ve realized that rushing, constantly racing against the clock, is one of the biggest sources of anxiety in modern life.

At least it is for me.

Sometimes I’ll have not much to do all afternoon, with plenty of time before an evening plan, and still I refuse to get ready early. I would rather waste time doing nothing at all than begin preparing ahead of time. I always wait until there are only fifteen or twenty minutes left before I suddenly spring into action. In my imagination, changing clothes, doing makeup, and heading out somehow only takes five minutes. However, reality proves otherwise every single time.

What’s strange is that if I actually do get ready early, I become anxious in a completely different way. Once I’m dressed and prepared, I feel like I should leave immediately. I can’t seem to accept the idea of being fully ready and then calmly sitting down to read a few pages of a book, water the plants, or slowly finish a cup of tea. It’s as if an invisible force starts pushing me forward. As though being “ready” itself means I no longer have permission to stay.

One day, I asked my mother, “Why do you always start getting ready so early?”

She answered, “If I finish early, I don’t have to keep thinking about it.”

At that moment, I realized that we are both shaped by the same thing — just in opposite ways.

Modern life worships efficiency. We pack our schedules full, mistake busyness for ambition, and slowly begin to believe that never having enough time is simply what successful adulthood looks like. My mother responds to this by finishing things early so she can feel at ease. I, on the other hand, have become so accustomed to being chased by time that even when I still have room to breathe, I instinctively create pressure for myself. It feels as though I must always be moving, always rushing toward the next thing, or else I’m wasting my life.

I once read a line that stayed with me: “If you place time against the scale of the universe, humanity’s anxiety over a few minutes becomes almost meaningless.”

So I want to try changing, just a little.

From now on, whether it’s meeting someone, attending a meeting, or going out for dinner, I want to arrive at least five minutes early. I don’t want to sprint against the clock anymore, or treat the last minute like some strange form of adrenaline. I want to see what happens when I stop allowing myself to be pushed forward by constant urgency.

Maybe slowly, I’ll begin to understand that the world does not fall apart just because I pause for a few minutes.

And perhaps being unhurried — truly calm and unhurried — is a kind of superpower!

活得不慌不忙，是一种极为高级的能力

如果我妈妈晚上要出去吃饭，她通常从中午就开始准备了。洗澡、换衣服、吹头发，慢慢化妆，一切都提前安排得妥妥当当。她从不着急，也几乎没有“来不及”的时候。

而我刚好相反。明明七点要出门，六点四十一分的时候，我还坐在沙发上看手机。然后忽然在某一个瞬间意识到自己要迟到了，于是冲进浴室，吹风机开始轰鸣，衣柜被翻得乱七八糟，手机永远在最急的时候找不到。最后一路小跑，气喘吁吁地赶上巴士。

通常我也就迟到个三五分钟，别人眼里的我，大概是属于那种时间观念稍微差一点的人。后来我慢慢发现，赶时间这件事，几乎构成了很多现代人焦虑的来源。比如我自己，有时候下午完全没事，明明有大把时间，但是如果晚上有活动的话，我也不会提前准备。我宁愿无所事事地拖着，也一定要等到只剩下十几二十分钟的时候，才突然开始行动。仿佛换衣服、化妆、出门这些事，在我的幻想里只需要五分钟。但是现实每次都证明这是根本不可能做到的。

奇怪的是，如果我真的提前收拾妥当，却会陷入一种说不上来的焦虑里，总觉得既然已经准备好了，就应该立刻出门。我没办法接受自己穿戴整齐之后，还能安安静静地坐下来，看几页书、浇浇花，或者慢慢喝完一杯水。我会被一种无形的力量催促着，好像完成准备本身，就意味着必须立刻出门了。

后来我问妈妈：“你为什么总那么早开始准备？”

她说：“早点弄完，心里就不用一直惦记着了。”

那一刻我意识到其实我们都被同一种东西影响着，只是方向不同而已。

现代社会太崇尚效率了。我们习惯把时间排得满满当当，习惯把忙当成一种上进，甚至默认了时间永远不够才是成功的常态。妈妈和我刚好相反。她喜欢早点把事情做完，这样心里会踏实；而我却早已习惯被时间推着走。久而久之，即使明明还有余地，我也会下意识地把自己逼进一种紧迫感里。仿佛只有不停赶路、不停切换下一件事，我才算没有浪费人生。

我曾读到过这样一句话：“如果把时间放进宇宙的尺度里，人类对于几分钟、十几分钟的焦虑，其实渺小得几乎不值一提。”

所以我想试着改变一点点。以后无论见人、开会，还是约吃饭，我都想让自己至少提前五分钟到。不再踩着时间冲刺，也不再把最后一分钟当成某种隐秘的刺激。我想看看，当我终于不再被匆忙推着往前走的时候，生活会不会变得不一样。

也许慢慢地，我会开始明白：原来世界并不会因为我停下来几分钟，就失去控制。能够获得不慌不忙，也是一种高级的能力。